The Test

I love these new motion sensor sinks they have in Walmart, Mcdonalds, and virtually every other public place.

Have you seen these? They’re amazing. They give IQ tests on the spot. I’ll bet you’re thinking, I haven’t seen any that do that. 

I’m sure you have, if you paid close attention.

Here, I’ll demonstrate. I’ll hover over here in the corner of the men’s room and try to look inconspicous. (Because hanging around in the corner of a men’s room doesn’t draw any suspicion, does it?)

Ok, here comes my first victim, I mean subject. He’s approaching the sink, hands out, and nothing happens. So, he pulls his hands back then puts them back under, giving it the, ‘Try again’. This time water flows and the man leaves happy.

Next guy holds his hand under, and recieving no water, passes his hand back and forth under the faucet, giving it, ‘The wave’. This yields water, permitting him to leave.

Next, an older gentleman approaches, stops cold, and stares blankly at the sink with no handles. He shakes his head and walks away, giving the, ‘What’s this world coming to?’

By this time the faucet has become bored and decides to play a prank.

Its victim approaches, hands outstretched. Nothing happens. He does the, ‘Try again’, ‘The wave’, ‘The touch’ (self explanatoty), then turns and gives me the, ‘What the hell’s going on?’

I’m too busy looking inconspicous to do any more than shrug.

He leans over the sink and looks into the faucet (presumably to see if anything’s stuck in there) and is rewarded with an impromptu shower.

He wheels around on me, but I’m too busy inconspicousing (Google it) to make eye contact.

He trudges out, still dripping.

I approach the sink, stop two feet away, fold my arms, and stand still as a statue.

For five minutes, I don’t move.

Three people come in then quickly leave rather than disturb the crazy man who is locked in a staredown with a sink.

At last, the water turns on.

I approach with a smug smile and enjoy my victory wash … for about a nanosecond before screaming in pain at the scalding water.

The water stays on for a few seconds, teasing me.

I hang my head and quietly leave.

I’ve failed the test.

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