Couch gag

I’ve decided that the human race is too stupid to survive. I didn’t come to this conclusion rashly, it took me a few minutes.

It started when I bought a couch from the Goodwill store. (Because that’s how glamourous a writer’s life is.) As I was driving home with my ‘new’ couch on the back of the truck, a car started tailgating me.

Of course, being the sensitive soul that I am, my first thought was, You idiot! If this couch slides off, you’re in a world of hurt.

He continued to follow closely as I mentally berated him and most of his ancestors. Finally, we came to a passing lane and my newfound friend flew around me like he was doing a victory lap at Daytona.

I resisted the urge to use hand signals and continued on my way home when another car tailgated me.

I had to assume that the inherent danger in this situation was not evident to these chowderheads. So I tried to ignore him as he passed me on a double yellow line.

By the time the third vehicle had pulled up behind me I had made my decision about humanity.

Oh, wait, this guy’s backing away. Maybe there’s hope for mankind yet. It figures this guy understands, he’s driving a pickup truck.

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